Wedding planning and coordination can be a stressful time for brides, and their mothers. As a wedding planner one of the things I hear most often is that the planning and the event was fun and exciting because they had someone else, their wedding planner, to do all the stressing for them.
That’s the best case, but what happens when the mother of the bride thinks it’s their wedding? After spending money on a wedding planner you want to hear what they have to say and have them do research for you, but sometimes Mom may think she knows best. So what is a bride to do? The relationship between mom and daughter is important especially when planning a wedding. However the wedding should be about the Bride and Groom, so how do you tell mom to be on your side and not against you in the planning process. Here are some tips in dealing with the MOB (mother of the bride).
1) After announcing your engagement have a conversation with your mother about money, what you except from her in terms of help, and allow her to be honest with you on her ideas and wants. If you start off on the right foot most conflicts can be avoided.
2) Ask your mother what is important to her. While this is your wedding sometimes major conflicts can be avoided if you make your mother feel like you are taking into account things she is concern about or important to her. Keep in mind the MOB is excited about this wedding, you’re her daughter and she just wants to be involved and help.
3) Make it clear with all your vendors who has the final say. As a wedding planner I often hear from both the bride and the MOB on wedding decision, I make it a point before contracts are signed that the final say comes from the person who signs the contract, which should be the bride. That way if something really goes array I can go to the Bride ask what she wants and then continue planning.
4) Don’t be afraid to take time to ‘cool-off’ reflect on what an argument was about and don’t be afraid to admit you were wrong or say sorry. In the end your mother will always be your mother so make sure you aren’t being a bridezilla and that you are listening to what your mom is saying even if you don’t agree.
5) If all else fails remember to keep the bigger picture in mind and always conduct yourself in a calm manner. Easier said than done, but give it a try.
*Happy Planning*
DeVasse Design
No comments:
Post a Comment